


The Best Defense Against a Killer Whale

by mynameis152



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: Drunk Jack Sparrow, Jack Sparrow is king of the seas, Moby Dick is in fact a D I C K, Pirates, Saxophones, Whales, abs, all aboard the Black Pearl, drunk, the power of abs, this was so much fun to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 12:14:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19019719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mynameis152/pseuds/mynameis152
Summary: Captain Jack Sparrow is minding his own business in his Captain Chambers. He's got his dear-to-his-heart Rum by his side and he is happy.When the Black Pearl lurches and he goes to inspect the cause, however, he discoveres that his arch nemesis himself is there to vey for control.Unfortunately for Moby Dick, though, Captain Jack Sparrow has cultivated his attack and is ready to prove that a sword isn't the only thing he's got to fight with.





	The Best Defense Against a Killer Whale

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Allapi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allapi/gifts).



> Hey y'all!!! Now, for my dear returning readers, I am aware that this is, in fact, not Anime and DEFINITELY not my typical fanfiction. Be that as it may, I was approached by my wonderful new friend Karen, who asked that I write this for her and her friends and, honestly, how can I not write about Captain Jack Sparrow fighting off Moby Dick with some unorthodox object???????????
> 
> That's right, I couldn't say no.
> 
> And thus, you recieve this! I hope you enjoy and without further ado, here it is!!!

Captain Jack Sparrow is in his Captain’s Chambers. As the Black Pearl sways on the great, open waters and a storm rages above them, he feels so inclined to stay in the bleak light of the room  and peer over frayed and rotting treasure maps, searching for the crew’s next death-defying adventure into the unknown.

 

The boat lurches, which Jack thinks hardly even feels real. The only reality he concerns himself with is the one where he, the greatest pirate of the seven seas, sits alone in his chambers, his Captain’s hat perched on his regal head of luscious, knotted black hair and drinks from his trusty bottle of age-old rum.

 

He knocks the cap off the bottle, picks it up and takes a tremendous gulp. He savors the burn as the liquid trails down his throat and settles at the base of his stomach. Jack holds the container high above his head and watches it gleam in the candlelight.

 

“Rum!” He cheers. “You truly are the  _ sauciest  _ wench on the sea!” He brings the bottle to his lips and smacks them against the drink.

 

The Black Pearl lurches beneath him once more, followed by screams and shouts from the other side of his chamber door. “What in the bloody hell is goin’ on out there!” He barks back, voice slurred.

 

There isn’t a response, his griping drowned out by the discord arising outside his quiet, candlelit room. Jack drops the Rum onto his desk and stumbles up onto his feet. The room spins when he moved, but it’s expected.

 

He lifts a hand to his head and adjusts his hat before stumbling across the room. The ship rocks and the objects come crashing down from the surrounding shelves, shattering on the floor. He mutters to himself about the mess, and falls against the door handle, pushing it open.

 

The rain hits Jack like a slap in the face, knocking him back on his feet. Storm clouds roll and rage above, spitting water as a dragon spits fire. An abrupt crack of lightning hits the ship’s flag and the jolly roger illuminates by the light of a fire.`

 

Captain Jack Sparrow jerks when a fat hand lands on his shoulder. He whips his head to the side—too fast, as it makes the world spin—and comes eye to eye with his first mate’s blurry face. “Gibbs! What’s happening!”

 

“Aye, Captain, there’s a mighty big sea monster below the keel! It’s breaking the ship from the bottom of the boat!”

 

Suddenly, the earthshaking, terrifying moans of the creature beneath their ship dwarfs the sound of the storm. The beast hits the keel which forces the crew to grab for the closest object to steady their footholds. Captain Jack isn’t quick enough, falling and knocking his ass against they dirty, salt stained floor boards. 

 

“Y’alright, Cap’n?” Gibbs asks, reaching his hand out for Jack to take. He grabs it, using it as leverage to pull himself up off the ground and blink at his first-mate through the rain hailing down upon his face and streaming down his hollowed cheeks.

 

“That ain’t a monsta, mate,” Jack slurs, clapping a hand on his first mate’s back.

 

“It’s a  _ whale.” _

 

He knew that sea creature’s cry, and it’s calling card. He knew the knock of its massive hide against the bottom of his ship, because he’d seen it before. This enemy has been years in the making, but the beast didn’t Jack has cultivated his strategy.

 

Jack stumbles toward the starboard, slipping in his leather boots against the wet deck. The moaning of the beast is louder than the thunder of the heavens above. When he reaches the railing, clambering up it to grab onto a net and keep himself steady, he looks down and sees the white whale break the tide. It swims onto its side, peaking a massive, beady black eye out of the water. When lightning illuminates the night, he sees it staring back at him.

 

“Moby Dick, you scabby sea bass!” Captain Jack screams out into oblivion. “So we meet again at long last!”

 

The whale whistles, high in pitch and agonizing to the ears. It’s a call to war, Jack’s sure. “Shall I fetch your sword, Cap’n!” Gibbs asks, screaming through the rolling thunder.

 

“It won’t work.” Jack has waited years for this day to come, to look his enemy in the eye and prove he was King of the Seas, beating back the beast into the dark recesses of the ocean. “There’s a long, leather box beneath my cot. Go gettit for me!”

 

“Aye, Cap’n!” Gibbs runs off towards the Captain’s chambers, slipping on his boots along the way. Captain Jack Sparrow turns back to the sea, the Black Pearl rocking on the massive, violent waves.

 

“Let it be known,” he shouts, louder than Moby Dick and the storm itself, loud enough for his entire crew to stop their storm preparations and heed his words. “This is the day where Moby Dick, this beast of the sea, remembers the name: Captain Jack Sparrow,  _ the greatest pirate _ !”

 

Moby Dick wails, slapping a massive fin against the water, sending a great wake towards the base of the ship and making it lurch. Jack holds onto the net with immense strength and keeps himself from falling off the ledge. “Gotta try hard than that, you whiny sardine!”

 

“Cap’n! CAPTAIN!” Gibbs shouts from across the ship. Jack jerks his eyes to the man scrambling along the deck with a massive leather case in his hands. He hops off the ship’s railing as it lurches, propelling him forward.

 

He slams into Gibbs knocking them both to the ground but recovering quick enough to grapple for the case on the grimy deck. He grabs the handle and yanks it to him; the buckles feeling cool on his digits as he unlocks it.

 

“What is it, Captain?” Gibbs crawls across the deck as the crew swarms them. “Is it a sword? A harpoon? We gonna attack the beast?”

 

Jack laughs up at the sky. “No, gents,” he shakes his head. “Only one thing could take down a beast like this.” He lifts the lid and reveals the brass instrument, buttons sparkling in the lightning's light above.

 

His crew stares down at it with boggled and bewildered expression. “What is it, Captain?” Cotton’s bird asks, perched on its owner's shoulder.

 

“That,” Jack starts. He licks his lips and lifts it from its case, slinging the strap over his shoulder and adjusting it against his body. “Is a Saxophone.”

 

_ “A saxophone?” _

 

“What’s it do?” Gibbs asks.

 

“Can it kill things?”

 

“Oh! Oh! Does it hold rum,” Anamaria explains.

 

“Nah, neither,” Jack shakes his head at them, getting up from the floor and running over to the railing. “Hold me up, lads!”

 

The crew is behind him in a heartbeat. He’s on the railing, steadying himself with a grip on the net, when the grab him around the legs and hold him still. He balances, releasing the net and placing his fingers on the individual buttons. He grins down at the beast of the sea.

 

“MOBY DICK,” he shouts. “THIS IS YOUR RECKONING!”

 

He smacks his lips on the reed, blowing the first note into the instrument. It’s melodious and sweet. The whale keens at the sound. The devilish monster slaps the sea with a fat wave which slams into the Black Pearl and rocks it.

 

But Jack is unwavering in his offensive attack. He presses the buttons in an organized manner, producing a melody he has so fully perfected. The melody is strong, powerful. He hears the lightning and thunder subside, knowing his melody is too strong, too powerful for them to compare. It’s high and then its low, and the skies clear above him to a dull gray. He hears the crew ooh and aah at the inflection of his instrument.

 

Moby Dick’s whistles grow grim, dark. Jack knows the song is working, but it's not strong enough alone to rid the world of the whale from hell. He knows that Moby has run these seas as a king, fearsome and strong, for more years than Jack has captained this ship. He needs more to prove himself better and send the massive whale back to the depths from which it came.

 

He pulls his lips off the saxophone and his fingers off the buttons. Instead, he drags his permanently water-pruned fingers to his bloused shirt, stained yellow. “Moby Dick, you measly sea-cucumber, I hoped not to unleash my greatest power, but you leave me no choice!”

 

He grabs his shirts and tears the fabric wide, revealing the tanned, chiseled muscles beneath the loose cotton. His abs are like washboards, scarred from years at sea and rippling when he moves. The crew gasps at the beauty, how they shine beneath the parting storm clouds.

 

Moby Dick wails at the sight, knowing he could never compare to Captain Jack Sparrow’s sculpted body. Captain Jack guffaws at the whale’s whimpering and slaps his lips against the reed once more. He tickles the buttons with his digits and the cacophony of beauty that emits from the bell of the saxophone is so pure and angelic that he can feel the whale weaken in its power.

 

The newly emerged sunrays beat down on Jack like a God, a messenger from the heavens to protect and defend the seas from the hellish beasts living beneath its surface. The crew cheers, joyous shouts and laughs that meld into the song. He feels hands snake up his rippling abs, touching the body of a Saint.

 

Moby Dick screams and whines, his howl of pain a burning reminder that he has failed and that Captain Jack Sparrow was the true king of the ocean. The awesome power of combined saxophone and the abs of an Adonis are too much for the whale to accept. His last whine is that of submission before the sea rises above him and the whale submerges itself deep into the caverns at the bottom of the sea.

 

Jack watched as he disappeared, ignoring the cheers of his crew. For he knew that he had just one against an admiral opponent. He waved off the whale, knowing their rivalry was complete and the end of and era had come.

 

Captain Jack Sparrow was the greatest pirate to set foot on the seven seas, and Moby Dick had fallen victim to his greatness.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Karen (and Karen's friend) I hope you love it!! I had so much fun writing this and I'm so grateful you came to me with this because it definitely put a smile on my face! :) 
> 
> And for those of you who do not know me, because Pirates of the Caribbean is not my typical fandom, I write for the Boku no Hero Academia fandom and if you'd like to check out more information on my writing endeavors, you can find me at:
> 
> [ [twitter](https://twitter.com/mynameis152) ]
> 
> [ [tumblr](https://mrs-apocalypse.tumblr.com) ]


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